I'm Not Pretty Anymore

Reflections from a mother of a daughter:
Tonight I heard a comment that no mother ever hopes to hear from her daughter much less her almost 3 year old.  Shiloh walked up to me and said "Mommy, I'm not pretty anymore."  I looked at her astonished and a little shocked... where in the world would she have ever heard a comment like that and why in the world would she have a thought like that.  I quickly recovered and told her as meaningfully as I could, "Shiloh, you are more than pretty; you are beautiful and by that I mean VERY pretty."

This small conversation got me thinking:
- Could Shiloh have thoughts like that because ME, her own Mommy has felt that? 
- Have I ever made comments in front of Shiloh about not feeling very pretty myself... yes, I have. 
- How can I, a women who fears the Lord, teach my daughter that beauty is inner as well as outer?
- How can I teach my daughter that she is fearfully and wonderfully made... and yes that she is pretty?

I remember reading Captivating  in college and seeing that every woman in the core of her being desires to feel beautiful and knowing with all of my heart that is a very true statement... at least for me I know it is.  For my friends daughter Rylie, who at 18 months looked at me twirling her little dress and said "Am I pretty," this comment is true.  And for my very own daughter this statement is true.

So back to one of my questions: How can I teach my daughter that she is pretty? To touch on that, I have to mention this first,  Marc and I were talking and I asked him why it is that every girl has moments where she doesn't feel beautiful and why those moments could even start under the age of 3.  His response got me thinking even more. 

He said, "People are always telling little girls that they are pretty, and little girls probably watch their moms question their own beauty.  In watching their moms, little girls learn to question themselves."   No, Marc wasn't blaming me... in fact he dismissed Shiloh's comment as a silly thing she just said; however, the fact that the thought even crossed her mind caused me to cry a little. 

I cried for several reasons.  I want to instill in my daughter a confidence that transcends outer beauty and physical appearance; a confidence that will give her the courage to say "No" to peers, "No" to guys and "Yes" to the Lord no matter the cost.  I cried that this confidence could even be slightly questioned when she is so young.  I cried because I believe that I, a pretty confident women, have already somehow transferred some of my self-conscience moments onto my precious daughter.  And lastly, I cried for the moment that she really believes she isn't pretty... a moment that I am now fighting against.

How can I teach my daughter the she is fearfully and wonderfully made... and yes that she is pretty?  I've got to start by believing it in myself.  I've got to know that I too am beautiful... even on days that I don't feel it.  I've got to trust in the Lord and seek him for my confidence... for when I am weak he is strong.  I cannot look in the mirror and find every flaw in myself... rather, when that starts to happen, I need to pray to the Lord and ask him to help me be the beautiful woman he created me to be.  This I need to teach my daughter by doing it myself.

That all being said, yes I work out.  I will continue to do so, BUT my motivation should be more than physical appearance.  It is to be in shape and to be healthy.  I like to be an active person and if I'm not in shape my lifestyle might not be possible.  I actually enjoy running races (10Ks and 1/2 marathons) and I love hiking... to do these things, I must be in shape.  I'm not going to lie, yes I like to look fit too; however, that need not only be my motivation to work out.

I challenge myself to know I am beautiful and I am the woman God has created me to be!  I challenge myself to instill this in my daughter. And lastly, I challenge every mother of a daughter to teach her that she is beautiful by believing it about yourself.